I have a friend who seems to enjoy a good old fashion argument more than most. Well, more than most, but just as about as much as I do. For years the perception has been that he's addicted to confrontation, he loves the rush of a good fight, he likes to "shake things up" .... but tonight it became obvious.
When your average employee engages in confrontation, seems to be part of more friction, or hell...seems to be defensive , that employee is looked down upon, seen as a risk, not a team player, or may even be a PIP candidate. That is unless the employee is a lawyer. Then (s)he's just doing the job.
So it became more and more obvious to me that it was impossible for us to understand my friend, and even more plausible that he was mostly misunderstood. Because let's face it, when you are in your mid thirties your career persona and your personal persona are someone blurred. And although your Mom told you you could be anyone you wanted to be, we all became the people we have become at work. If you dance on a pole for a living you're a whore, if you crunch numbers all day you're a dork, if you're a consultant everyone else can be doing it better with your help, and if you're a lawyer... well then you thrive on proving that you can win any argument whether it's a position you hold or wouldn't take unless the tape stopped rolling.
I've always held a kinship with this friend, and perhaps it wasn't just the social bond we share... Perhaps it's because a consultant always thinks they know better than the lawyer... who knows that whatever you think.. you're wrong.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Entenmann's Cookies
It seems pretty obvious. Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies are the perfect cookies. Better than home made, better than that crap you get at the mall for $3 each. So good.. mmm.
Family hibernation
Ask anyone and they will agree. As you grow older you realize that you become more an more like your parents. Usually it's one or the other, Mom or Dad. It's just a given, right? Everyone agrees that you hit a certain age and you realize that you are not so different from that man or woman you swore you would never be like.
Like most great thought, I came up with a new theory while showering today. Maybe this is obvious, but to me it seemed ground breaking:
From the day we are born, we are very similar to our parents, and while it seems to us at the time that we are so different from the enforcers who won't let you eat ice cream for breakfast or spend the week at your buddies house while his parents are in England, the fact is that our parents are not being themselves. While we're complaining about who they are and how they act, we're interacting with people who are trying to shape you into the best person you can be, by not being your friend... by being a parent. And that's what we need... right?
So by the time we graduate from college, and get a job in the real world.. and hopefully relinquish our parents from the huge emotional/physical/ financial burden .. they can finally get back to being themselves. After all they can't punish you any more, so what good is trying to continue shaping you... you're shaped, done... and like it or not they love you as much as that crappy clay blob that you fired up in the kiln in 3rd grade and gave to them for their anniversary. So now they are being themselves again.. someone you've never seen before.. but hey.. you get along with them great now [of course many more psychological complexities weigh in here].. and you realize that you aren't that different.
You didn't become more like your mom or dad.. they finally showed you their true personalities. And just as you become so happy with the new equilibrium, you crank out a little you jr. .. and now it's time for you to put your true personality in hibernation.
Like most great thought, I came up with a new theory while showering today. Maybe this is obvious, but to me it seemed ground breaking:
From the day we are born, we are very similar to our parents, and while it seems to us at the time that we are so different from the enforcers who won't let you eat ice cream for breakfast or spend the week at your buddies house while his parents are in England, the fact is that our parents are not being themselves. While we're complaining about who they are and how they act, we're interacting with people who are trying to shape you into the best person you can be, by not being your friend... by being a parent. And that's what we need... right?
So by the time we graduate from college, and get a job in the real world.. and hopefully relinquish our parents from the huge emotional/physical/ financial burden .. they can finally get back to being themselves. After all they can't punish you any more, so what good is trying to continue shaping you... you're shaped, done... and like it or not they love you as much as that crappy clay blob that you fired up in the kiln in 3rd grade and gave to them for their anniversary. So now they are being themselves again.. someone you've never seen before.. but hey.. you get along with them great now [of course many more psychological complexities weigh in here].. and you realize that you aren't that different.
You didn't become more like your mom or dad.. they finally showed you their true personalities. And just as you become so happy with the new equilibrium, you crank out a little you jr. .. and now it's time for you to put your true personality in hibernation.
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